Disappeared
by Kylie Max
Summary: Lovino has disappeared and no on knows what happened to him, the theory being that he disappeared because he wasn't a "true nation". Spain is logically depressed so the BTT, Germany and Italy try to help him out by bringing him out to a bar. When Spain sees a girl who looks exactly like Lovi named Lovina, could this girl really be the Romano Spain knew? (better story inside)
1. Chapter 1

**Well... I don't know why but i've been thinking about death a lot... It's not like i have an urge to commit suicide anymore and as far as I know none of my friends want to either. I wrote this on the last day of school before winter break and this is just something i wrote on whim. I just never got around to posting it.**

**It's kinda... Depressing. Sorry. I'm just in a really mellow mood right now.**

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People disappear everyday but I've never cared so much a when Lovino disappeared. When I found out, I screamed until my voice gave out and then I cried. When I ran out of tears I just sat. I sat and ignored my work, my country, my friends. I was seriously considering trying to disappear to. What use was living if my most important person was here? There just wasn't any reason to smile when the person I smiled for wasn't here.

I went back to Italy. I thought that maybe if I tried searching for him in his land I would maybe find him or a reincarnation of some sort. Or maybe if I went away from my house long enough I would come back and walk into the kitchen and he'd be there cooking his pasta. He'd turn around with his cute scowl on his face and scold me for making him wait and tell me I should've come back sooner.

But that didn't happen, of course. He truly was gone.

"Mon ami, are you alright?" Francis sat across from me and looked at me with a concerned look. It had been a week since he'd disappeared.

I slowly raised my head from my arms and gave an absolutely dead look to Francis. Smiling grimly, he patted my back reassuringly and promised things would get better. I would've sneered but I just didn't feel up to it. Slightly shaking my head, I got up from the table and was going to leave when I bumped into Prussia on the way out. He stumbled a little but didn't stop me from leaving.

Prussia had also been affected by this incident as well. Everyone thought he'd be the first to go. So did he, I think. He should've disappeared when his nation was dissolved, either on the spot or a little after but I guess that because he started representing East Germany, that kept his existence secure. I don't know if he still represents East Germany since Germany is whole again but he still hasn't disappeared. Being with Canada also helped though I'm sure. New Prussia probably added to Prussia's life span.

There was nothing I could've done to save my Lovi though. I would do anything to even have an attempt to save him and bring him back. There is no way My boss would allow me to take a part of my own land and name it Romano or South Italy, but trust me, I would if I could.

Francis and Gilbert tried to console me to the best of their abilities, but there's only so much you can do. Francis sent over a new type wine each week and Prussia would try to take me out to bars to meet women, always ending up getting drunk himself. To me, every person would never be able to compare to Romano. The love that I might find wouldn't even last long anyways. Why even try?

One of the nights Prussia took us out, Germany, Italy and Francis joined us. They were worried about me, but I knew they also wanted to have some fun. Italy had been devastated, but not as much as I was, I don't think. He was sad for the first few months but soon got over his loss. Everyone needed to be cheered up to some degree. Me? I just needed my Lovi back.

"Big Brother Spain! I think that girl is looking a you!" Italy tugged at my shirt as i sat at the bar nursing some alcoholic drink that burned as it was tossed back.

"Hm? I don't care," I shrugged him off and Italy's face fell. I felt kind of bad for brushing him off, but I couldn't think about anything but the time I could've had with Romano. Often times I would worry about if he went somewhere after he disappeared, if he was comfortably or if he was watching me now.

"Holaaa. Earth to Antonio," someone said to me and waved their hand in front of my face. I turned to my right and my eyes widened. There sat a girl who looked like the girl version of Romano. I think my mouth fell open because the next thing i knew was that she had a finger under my chin and she was closing my mouth with a smile. Her eyes were the same, her skin was the same, she even had a cute little curl like Romano did. "Hey." She said. "What's up?"

"...hello." I said after several moments of shock. "Who are you?"

And then suddenly I blinked at she was gone. In her place was Italy giving me a puzzled look.

"Hm? What do you mean, Toni? I'm Veneziano!" Italy cocked his head to the side with a puzzled expression.

"A-ah, I think I've had too much to drink..." I mumbled shaking my head. I slid off the bar seat and grabbed my coat from the back. "I'll see you sometime later alright, Ita? Tell the others I'm sorry..." Smiling guiltily at Veneziano, I left the bar feeling alone and confused.

My eyes drifted around the small Italian town and I felt lost. It was almost holiday time. I was going to spend the holidays with Lovino of course. But what now? What would I do now that I saw the world as a dull, dull place?

"You could continue to live, baldie. That's what I'd do." I flinched and spun around. There the girl stood again. She was wearing a coat as well and the small little snowflakes spun around her feet. A smile played at her red lips and she walked towards me slowly.

"Who... Who are you?" I was so confused. She looked so much like Romano.

"Bastard, you don't recognize your own former henchman?" The girl teased and fake scowled at me.

"You're... Lovino?" I almost choked as I stared at her wide-eyed.

"No, I'm _Lovina_." She said. "Now at least."

"... What does that mean?" She shook her head and continued smiling at me. She wasn't as tall as Romano but she came to just below my nose.

"It means..." She leaned in dangerously close. I think the fact that she looked like Roma so much was getting to me because my heart started pounding and my cheeks flushed. "Lovino is no more. I am Lovina. I came here to tell you get over him. _He's gone_."

Her words shocked me and where unusually cruel. I started crying right then and there, suddenly hugging Lovina and sobbing pitifully into her coat. At first she tensed but then relaxed, even gently rubbing my back.

When I finally got the will to compose myself, I straightened up and took a deep breath. Lovina eyed me over and I saw her eyes soften.

"... I still have feelings though... I'm not sure if they're my own or Lovino's but my heart is telling me that you're a good guy." She pats my shoulder, almost roughly, turns on her heel and then walks away. I watch her wordlessly, trying to wrap my mind around what she said.

_Not sure if these feelings are mine or Lovino's..._ What did that mean? Her and Lovino are the same? Lovino is now Lovina?

Confused and bewildered, I stumbled home. Prying open the door against the winter wind, I walked numbly into my empty house, stripping off the heavy winter clothes and flopping onto my couch. I threw an arm over my eyes and sighed.

_Now what?_ I thought. _Is Lovina the new Romano?_

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**Based on the ending, i'll probably make this a two-shot or maybe a three-shot... I can't ever seem to get a series rolling and then finish it... It's sad.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I am so happy to have gotten only two reviews really but I was just happy to write this. :)**

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"Hey you good for nothing balding bastard! Wake up and make me something to eat!" A foot made contact with my back and shoved me off the bed. I had the brief sensation of falling before my cheek made contact with my wood floors. Groaning I turned over and fully expected a weight to drop on my stomach and start bouncing on me as I was used to but when my eyes met Lovina's I almost screamed.

Scrambling backwards, I finally got my legs under me to stand up and assess the situation.

Lovina was on her hands and knees wearing only a very revealing cammie and some short shorts. I cursed both and looked away, trying to calm down my flaming cheeks. A cross face was something I was used to on Lovino so I also thought that Lovina's was cute. The trademark curl bounced slightly when she sat back on her heels to look at me and cross her arms. I don't think she was trying to but I'm ashamed to say she was turning me on...

"H-how's you get into my house?" I stuttered, trying to focus on something else. She pulled out a key from her pocket and huffed.

"I have this, you know." She twirled it around her finger and looked at me curiously. How'd she get the key to my house? I gave one to Lovi but what actually did happen to Lovi?

"So? Are you gonna make me something or what?" She nodded to the kitchen and got up from the bed, padding out of the bedroom. In a daze, I stumbled after and found her sitting at the bar top that connected to the island in the kitchen that had the stove plus extra cabinets on either side of the stove. She seemed very fidgety for some reason, twirling in the spinning chair and kicking out her bare legs.

Automatically, i pulled out a skillet to make some eggs and sausage. All the while I was cooking, Lovina's eyes followed every movement, mostly staring at my hands as they cracked the eggs, managing the sausages and then placing it all on a plate.

It was just like any morning I used to spend with Lovi, except for the fact that Lovi was now female.

When I placed the plate before she looked at me curiously.

"Aren't you going to eat, Antonio?" I don't think I did but I think I flinched when she said my name. I was used to Lovi's voice say it and the girl with Lovi's just said it casually, as if it was nothing to her. It isn't her fault but it made me remember that Lovi was gone. Even so, I smiled for Lovina.

"It's alright. I'm not hungry anyways," I waved her off and went back to the bedroom to get dressed. When I came back, Lovina had moved to the couch, her dish placed in the sink but washed and clear of any remains. She was snoozing for some reason, her chest and curl rising with each breath.

Despite being the girl version of Lovi, she still has the effect that Lovi had on me, only slightly less.

Almost mystified with myself, I carefully sat in the chair next to couch and reached for Lovina's face but stopped right before touching her cheek.

_What is wrong with me?_ I thought suddenly._ Are you that desperate to cling onto Lovi's existence that you're going to try to replace it with Lovina's existence? You're really going to try to pull something when your heart is still on Lovi?_

Internally I fought and kept going back and forth, eventually just confusing with myself and then just giving up.

Sighing softly, I got up and went back to the bedroom, slipped between the covers and closed my eyes.

_Get it together. You need to be strong._ I sighed again. _Get used to this feeling. It's probably never going to go away as long as you still love Lovi._

**Lovina POV**

Antonio was stupid. I had no intention of making him like me but I couldn't help but watch the way he did everything. It was like I'd never seen someone make eggs and sausage. He gave me no sign that he was flustered by my staring, but his hands were so... Mystifying.

Geeze. I sound like a love struck school girl.

After finishing breakfast, i felt warm and full, the perfect combination to fall asleep again. That was not an issue at all. Siestas were a blessing now a days.

I dreamed of Lovino.

_He sat me down and looked me in the eye, never looking so serious than before._

_"You cannot fool around." He told me. Crossing my arms and scowling back him, i crossed my legs._

_"I'm not doing anything. Everything's going as planned. If you don't like how I'm doing things, do it yourself." Lovino's face flickered to show a brief image of pain and regret but his hardened eyes didn't soften a bit._

_"You know damn well that I can't do that." He stared back with his own glare. "Just... don't hurt Antonio..." Now his face softened into one of regret. "... I don't want him to hurt anymore."_

_"I'm not going to do anything to him." I stated. My feelings and Lovino's feelings were two different things. But in a sense, they were also the same._

The dream ended and I woke up feeling upset but also stubborn. What a joke. Why was i even here? Lovino wouldn't tell me what happened and it was pissing me off. I just woke up one day, suddenly something that existed and Lovino was there to tell me that I was taking his place as South Italy because something came up. I was given the knowledge that Lovino had. Including his memories and dreams.

And then there was Antonio. I knew him from Lovino's memories but having him here in person was more captivating than the memories. Selfishly, i wanted to keep him for myself. He was totally head over heels in love with Lovino that it made him easily manipulable. But then there was the part of me that loved him too. The part that had been transferred over from Lovino.

Sighing in frustration, i got up and trudged back to Spain's room, finding sleeping back on the bed. Seeing his sleeping face made me want to kick him out of bed again but then the annoying "school girl Lovino" part of me just wanted to watch him sleep. I remember Spain telling Lovino that moments when people sleep were rare and to be treasured because people were at their most vulnerable and at their most truthful.

Walking over quietly I sat on the edge of the bed and studied his face. The contours of his face were even more handsome and model like than from the memories Lovino had and I felt my heart squeeze. Antonio would need time to get over Lovino before even trying to start something with someone else. If he even had the will to try loving someone else.

Reaching out slowly, I gently patted Antonio's chocolate-brown hair. He deserved better than what had happened to him.

Just as i was pulling back, Antonio grabbed my arm and pulled me into his embrace. His eyes were still shut but the words made me feel melancholy.

"Stay with me, Lovino... Don't leave me again..." He whispered. His sighed in my ear but I didn't fight. Instead i just sunk into the warmth and closed my eyes. This was so much better than sleeping alone.

_It always is._ Lovino echoed in my mind. His words were hard to make out. _Good luck..._. While his words were supportive, it felt wrong for me to want to want Antonio. Trying to push aside my feelings of unease, I snuggled closer and rested my head against Spain's chest, listening to his steady breaths and the beat of his heart. The one that beat for Lovino and not for me.

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**Why do I keep writing endings that make it seem like there are going to be more chapters? Oh me. Never mind. Hope you enjoyed this. I find that I write on this fanfic when I'm upset... Hm.**


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